Definitions that should be in the dictionary (humor)


ADULT
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR
A place where women curl up and dye.

CHICKENS
The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF
Cold Storage.

INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

A doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

[Reportedly, the 2009 winning entry from an annual contest at Texas A&M University]

RAISIN
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE

The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES
Something other people have.  I have character lines.

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

3 Responses to “Definitions that should be in the dictionary (humor)”

  1. Humor » Definitions that should be in the dictionary (humor) « Lockdoc1's Blog Says:

    […] The rest is here:  Definitions which should be in a compendium (humor) « Lockdoc1's Blog […]

  2. Definitions that should be in the dictionary (humor) « Lockdoc1's Blog « Internet Cafe Solution Says:

    […] View original post here:  Definitions that should be in the dictionary (humor) « Lockdoc1's Blog […]

  3. Definitions that should be in the dictionary (humor) « Lockdoc1's Blog | AfroSuit Funny Jokes and videos Says:

    […] The rest is here:  Definitions that should be in the dictionary (humor) « Lockdoc1's Blog […]

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: