Posts Tagged ‘dead’

Kentucky Wisdom

July 19, 2011

A large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Kentucky.

Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.

The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone.

They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man’s tractor.

“Hank,” the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath. “Did you see this terrible accident happen?”

“Yep. Sure did,” the farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor’s engine.

“Do you realize that is Air Force One, the airplane of the President of the United States?”

“Yep.”

“Were there any survivors?”

“Nope. They’s all kilt straight out,” the farmer answered. “I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning.”

“President Obama is dead?” the sheriff asked.

“Well,” the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor. “He kept a-saying he wasn’t… But you know how bad that sumbitch lies……”

Obama is dead? (humor)

March 31, 2010

Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America.  Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force.  When they got there, the disaster was clear.  The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm.  The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone, including the President.

They spotted a lone farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened.  They hurried over to the man’s tractor.

“Hank,” the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath.  “Did you see this terrible accident happen?”

“Yep.  Sure did.” the farmer mumbled unconcernedly, cutting off the tractor’s engine.

“Do you realize that is the airplane of the President of the United States?”

“Yep.”

“Were there any survivors?”

“Nope.  They’s all kilt straight out,” the farmer answered.  “I done buried them all myself.  Took me most of the morning…”

“President Obama is dead?” the sheriff shouted.

“Well,” the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor.  “He kept a-saying he wasn’t… But you know how bad that sumbitch lies.”

The Road to Heaven – an inspirational story

February 5, 2010

A man and his dog were walking along a road.

The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble…

At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, ‘Excuse me, where are we?’

‘This is Heaven, sir,’ the man answered.

‘Wow! Would you happen to have some water?’ the man asked.

‘Of course, sir. Come right in, and I’ll have some ice water brought right up.’

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.’ Can my friend,’ gesturing toward his dog, ‘come in, too?’ the traveler asked.

‘I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept pets.’

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.


After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.

There was no fence.


As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book….

‘Excuse me!’ he called to the man. ‘Do you have any water?’

‘Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there, come on in.’
‘How about my friend here?’ the traveler gestured to the dog.

‘There should be a bowl by the pump,’ said the man.

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.


The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

‘What do you call this place?’ the traveler asked.

‘This is Heaven,’ he answered.

‘Well, that’s confusing,’ the traveler said.

‘The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.’

‘Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That’s Hell.’

‘Doesn’t it make you mad for them to use your name like that?’

‘No, we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.’

***
Soooo, Now you see, sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding stuff to us without writing a word. Maybe this will explain it.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward emails.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don’t know what, and don’t know how…. you forward stuff.

A ‘forward lets you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for.

So, next time if you get a ‘forward’, don’t think that you’ve been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you’ve been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.


You are welcome at my water bowl anytime!!

The Truth of what is happening in Haiti

January 31, 2010

Sad news about Haiti – the truth can not find its way out due to the liberal media. This news from a friend of mine, whom I trust to have written the truth of what is going on in Haiti. The wealthy stayed in concrete buildings and were crushed, while the poor lived in shacks and survived!!!   If you visit 3rd world countries, stay in the wood buildings and you have a better chance at survival.

Thanks John for the Truth about Haiti.

Looks like we are getting “FILTERED NEWS” as usual…

To All,

I just returned from Haiti with Hebler. We flew in at 3 AM Sunday to the scene of such incredible destruction on one side, and enormous ineptitude and criminal neglect on the other.

Port au Prince is in ruins. The rest of the country is fairly intact. Our team was a rescue team and we carried special equipment that locates people buried under the rubble.  There are easily 200,000 dead; the city smells like a charnel house.

The bloody UN was there for 5 years, doing apparently nothing but wasting US Taxpayers money. The ones I ran into were either incompetents or outright anti-American. Most are French or French speakers; worthless every damn one of them. While 1,800 rescuers were ready, willing and able to leave the airport and go do our jobs, the UN and USAID (another organization full of little OBamites and communists that openly speak out against Americans) These two organizations exemplified their parochialism by:

  • USAID, when in control of all inbound flights, had food and water flights stacked up all the way to Miami, yet allowed Geraldo Rivera, Anderson Cooper and a host of other left wing news puppies to land.
  • Pulled all the security off the rescue teams so that Bill Clinton and his wife could have the grand tour, whilst we sat unable to get to people trapped in the rubble.
  • Stacked enough food and water for the relief over at the side of the airfield then put a guard on it while we dehydrated and wouldn’t release a drop of it to the rescuers.
  • No shower facilities to decontaminate after digging or moving corpses all day, except for the FEMA teams who brought their own shower and decon equipment, as well as air conditioned tents.
  • No latrine facilities, less digging a hole, everyone was trying to use it.
  • I watched a 25 year old Obamite with the USAID shrieking hysterically; berate a full bird colonel in the air force, because he countermanded her orders, whilst trying to unscrew the air pattern… “You don’t know what your president wants! The military isn’t in charge here we are!”

If any of you are thinking of giving money to the Haitian relief, or to the UN don’t waste your money. It will only go to further the goals of the French and the Liberal left.

If we are a fair and even society, why is it that only white couples are adopting Haitian orphans? Where the hell is that vocal minority that is always screaming about the injustice of American society?

Bad place, bad situation, but a perfect look at the new world order in action. New Orleans magnified a thousand times. Haiti doesn’t need democracy, what Haiti needs is Papa Doc. That’s not just my opinion; that is what virtually every Haitian we talked with said. “The French run, the UN treat us the same as when we were a colony”, at least Papa Doc ran the country.

Oh, and as a last slap in the face the last four of us had to take US AIRWAYS home from Phoenix. They slapped me with a $590 dollar baggage charge for the four of us. The girl at the counter was almost in tears because she couldn’t give us a discount or she would lose her job… Pass that on to the flying public.


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