Posts Tagged ‘minority’

Definitions that should be in the dictionary (humor)

March 14, 2010

ADULT
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR
A place where women curl up and dye.

CHICKENS
The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF
Cold Storage.

INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better.

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

A doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

[Reportedly, the 2009 winning entry from an annual contest at Texas A&M University]

RAISIN
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE

The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES
Something other people have.  I have character lines.

YES, I’M A BAD AMERICAN

December 18, 2009

I Am the Liberal-Progressive’s Worst Nightmare.
I am an American.
I am a Master Mason and believe in God.
I ride Harley Davidson Motorcycles, and believe in American products.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some liberal governmental functionary, Democratic or Republican!
I’m in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
I think owning a gun doesn’t make you a killer; it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.
Get over it!
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you should do it in English.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and Willie G. Davidson, who makes the awesome Harley Davidson Motorcycles.
I don’t hate the rich… I don’t pity the poor.
I know wrestling is fake, and I don’t waste my time watching or arguing about it.
I’ve never owned a slave, or was a slave. I haven’t burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks, and neither have you! So, shut up already.
I believe if you don’t like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country!  
This is AMERICA
…We like it the way it is!
If you were born here and don’t like it you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you.
I want to know which church is it, exactly, where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution.  Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you’re breaking the law, regardless of what color you are…
And, no, I don’t mind having my face shown on my driver’s license.
I think it’s good…. And I’m proud that ‘God’ is written on my money.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don’t want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making ‘donations’ to their cause…..Get a Job and do your part!
I believe that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
I believe ‘illegal’ is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA!
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I’m a BAD American.
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.
We want our country back!
WE NEED GOD BACK IN OUR COUNTRY!!
WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE!


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