Posts Tagged ‘Republican’

Texas traffic stop – humor

December 10, 2010

Texas traffic stop

A Texas guy cruises thru a stop sign and gets pulled over by a local policeman.  Guy hands the cop his driver’s license, insurance verification, plus his concealed carry permit.

“Okay, Mr. Smith,” the cop says, “I see your CCW permit.  Are you carrying today?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Well then, better tell me what you got.”

Smith says, “Well, I got a .357 revolver in my inside coat pocket.  There’s a 9mm semi-auto in the glove box.  And, I’ve got a .22 magnum derringer in my right boot.”

“Okay,” the cop says.  “Anything else?”

“Yeah, back in the trunk, there’s an AR15 and a shotgun.  That’s about it.”

“Mr. Smith, are you on your way to or from a gun range…?”

“Nope.”

“Well then, what are you afraid of…?”

“Not a damn thing…”

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THIS IS OUR PRESIDENT?

May 27, 2010

Is anyone out there awake?

Everyone of voting age should read these two books: Don’t buy them, just get them from the library.


From Dreams of My Father: “I ceased to advertise my mother’s race at the age of 12 or 13, when I began to suspect that by doing so I was ingratiating myself to whites.”

From Dreams of My Father: “I found a solace in nursing a pervasive sense of grievance and animosity against my mother’s race.”

From Dreams of My Father: “There was something about her that made me wary, a little too sure of herself, maybe and white.”

From Dreams of My Father: “It remained necessary to prove which side you were on, to show your loyalty to the black masses, to strike out and name names.”

From Dreams of My Father:  “I never emulate white men and brown men whose fates didn’t speak to my own. It was into my father’s image, the black man, son of Africa, that I’d packed all the attributes I sought in myself: the attributes of Martin and Malcolm, DuBois and Mandela.”

And FINALLY……… and most scary:

From Audacity of Hope:
“I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction.”

And if you still have any doubts about Obama’s motivation, check out the book he is reading… “The Post American World.”

If you have never forwarded an e-mail, now is the time to do so!!!

We CANNOT have someone with this mentality running our GREAT nation!!

I don’t care whether you are a Democrat, a Republican, a Conservative or a liberal, We CANNOT turn ourselves over to this type of character in a President.

PLEASE, help spread the word!

We have really put ourselves in harm’s way with this monster in disguise.

A SHORT SPELLING LESSON

May 26, 2010

The last four letters in “American” = I Can

The last four letters in “Republican” = I Can

The last four letters in “Democrats” = Rats

End of Lesson.  Any questions?  Tests to follow in November 2010 and 2012.

November has been designated as RODENT extermination month.

Conservative’s DIVORCE AGREEMENT

April 12, 2010

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT’S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I’LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950’s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce…. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.  We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.  You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies, criminals and illegal aliens. We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs and rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.

We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values… You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClaine. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We’ll keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.  We’ll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute Imagine, I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kumbaya or We Are the World.

We’ll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this?  If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbra Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you.

P. P. S.  And you won’t have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

Conservatives VS Liberals

April 8, 2010

If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us should pay for his.

If a conservative reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A liberal will delete it because he’s “offended”.

Well I forwarded it to you, so you know where I stand!

The impudent tyranny of Senator Harry Reid

March 19, 2010

Look what Harry Reid hid deep in the Health Care Bill.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada is proving once again the maxim that darkness hates the light.  Buried in his massive amendment to the Senate version of Obamacare is Reid’s anti-democratic poison pill designed to prevent any future Congress from repealing the central feature of this monstrous legislation! Beginning on page 1,000 of the measure, Section 3403 reads in part: “… it shall not be in order in the Senate or the House of Representatives to consider any bill, resolution, amendment or conference report that would repeal or otherwise change this subsection.”

In other words, if President Barack Obama signs this measure into law, no future Senate or House will be able to change a single word of Section 3403, regardless whether future Americans or their representatives in Congress wish otherwise!!  Note that the subsection at issue here concerns the regulatory power of the Independent Medicare Advisory Board (IMAB) to “reduce the per capita rate of growth in Medicare spending.”  That is precisely the kind of open-ended grant of regulatory power that effectively establishes the IMAB as the ultimate arbiter of the cost, quality and quantity of health care to be made available to the American people. And Reid wants the decisions of this group of unelected federal bureaucrats to be untouchable for all time.  No wonder the majority leader tossed aside assurances that senators and the public would have at least 72 hours to study the text of the final Senate version of Obamacare before the critical vote on cloture. And no wonder Reid was so desperate to rush his amendment through the Senate, even scheduling the key tally on it at 1 a.m., while America slept.   True to form, Reid wanted to keep his Section 3403 poison pill secret for as long as possible, just as he negotiated his bribes for the votes of Senators Mary Landrieu of Louisiana, Ben Nelson of Nebraska and Bernie Sanders of Vermont behind closed doors. The final Orwellian touch in this subversion of democratic procedure is found in the ruling of the Reid-controlled Senate Parliamentarian that the anti-repeal provision is not a change in Senate rules, but rather of Senate “procedures.” Why is that significant? Because for 200 years, changes in the Senate’s standing rules have required approval by two-thirds of those voting, or 67 votes rather than the 60 Reid’s amendment received.   Reid has flouted two centuries of standing Senate rules to pass a measure in the dead of night that no senator has read, and part of which can never be changed. If this is not tyranny, then what is?

DON’T SIT BY AND LET THIS HAPPEN IN THE DARK!!! FORWARD TO EVERYONE ON YOUR LIST! VOTE THEM ALL OUT COME NOVEMBER!!

THIS IS TRULY SHOCKING!!!! PRAY THAT GOD WILL CONTINUE TO PROTECT US AND GIVE WISDOM AND INSIGHT AND PROTECT US FROM TYRANNY!!

A sign of the times . . . (humor)

March 18, 2010

I took a Cadillac Escalade out for a test drive just to drive that sucker before they become extinct…
The salesman sat in the back seat describing the car and all its wonderful options. The seats were of particular interest. He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.

I stated the car must be a Republican car.

Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thought it was a Republican car and I explained that if it were a Democratic car, the seats would blow smoke up your ass year-round.

I had to walk back to the dealership……….

Center for Disease Control issues a warning – (humor)

March 13, 2010

New virulent strain of this old disease…..

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim. It’s pronounced “Gonna re-elect ‘im.” The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum.

Many victims contracted it in 2008, but now most people after having been infected for the past 1-2 years are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is. It’s sad because it is so easily cured with a new procedure just coming on the market called Vo-tem-out! You take the first dose/step in 2010 and the second dosage in 2012 and simply don’t engage in such behavior again, otherwise it could become permanent and eventually wipe out all life as we know it.

Several states are already on top of this like Virginia and New Jersey, and apparently now Massachusetts with many more seeing the writing on the wall.

Please pass this important message on to all those bright folks you really care about.

Spelling Lesson – (humor)

March 6, 2010

The last 4 letters in American is I CAN

The last 4 letters in Republican is I CAN

The last 4 letters in Democrats is RATS

END OF LESSON!!!!

Obama Bribing Matheson?

March 4, 2010

I noticed BHO is nominating Scott Matheson for a federal judgeship. I saw this in the paper after I’d read this article on the internet: Just makes me sick. As if using reconciliation isn’t crooked enough, now he’s meeting with them to try to bribe them for their votes. So help me!!!!!

===========================

Tonight, Barack Obama will host ten House Democrats who voted against the health care bill in November at the White House; he’s obviously trying to persuade them to switch their votes to yes. One of the ten is Jim Matheson of Utah. The White House just sent out a press release announcing that today President Obama nominated Matheson’s brother Scott M. Matheson, Jr. to the United States Court of Appeals for the Tenth Circuit.

So, Scott Matheson appears to have the credentials to be a judge, but was his nomination used to buy off his brother’s vote?

Consider Congressman Matheson’s record on the health care bill. He voted against the bill in the Energy and Commerce Committee back in July and again when it passed the House in November. But now he’s “undecided” on ramming the bill through Congress. “The Congressman is looking for development of bipartisan consensus,” Matheson’s press secretary Alyson Heyrend wrote to THE WEEKLY STANDARD on February 22. “It’s too early to know if that will occur.” Asked if one could infer that if no Republican votes in favor of the bill (i.e. if a bipartisan consensus is not reached) then Rep. Matheson would vote no, Heyrend replied: “I would not infer anything.  I’d wait to see what develops, starting with the health care summit on Thursday.”

The timing of this nomination looks suspicious, especially in light of Democratic Congressman Joe Sestak’s claim that he was offered a federal job not to run against Arlen Specter in the Pennsylvania primary. Many speculated that Sestak, a former admiral, was offered the Secretary of the Navy job.


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