Posts Tagged ‘Windshield’

Ten Commandments to follow in life

July 13, 2011

1. Prayer is not a “spare wheel” that you pull out when in trouble; it is a “steering wheel” that directs us in the right path throughout life.

2. Do you know why a car’s WINDSHIELD is so large & the rear view mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, look ahead and move on.

3. Friendship is like a BOOK. It takes a few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.

4. All things in life are temporary. If things are going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If things are going wrong, don’t worry, they can’t last long either.

5. Old friends are like Gold! New friends are Diamonds! If you get a Diamond, don’t forget the Gold! Because to hold a Diamond, you always need a base of Gold!

6. Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, GOD smiles from above and says, “Relax, sweetheart, it’s just a bend, not the end!

7. When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn’t solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities.

8. A blind person asked St. Anthony, “Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?” He replied, “Yes, losing your vision.”

9. When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them; and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.

10. WORRYING does not take away tomorrow’s TROUBLES; it takes away today’s PEACE.

If you really enjoy this, PLEASE pass on to others. It may brighten someone’s day…

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Fall Classes for Women (Humor)

December 13, 2009

Fall Classes for Women at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By Thursday December 20,
2009

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM
.

Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer – How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy – Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?            —Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a SuitcasePictures and Explanatory Graphics
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks

Class 5
Curling Irons–Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours

Class 8
Health Watch–They Make Medicine for PMS – USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!–Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM – Location to be determined

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations
4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours

Class 11
Learning to Live–How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.


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